new year funny jokes in english

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On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it
was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband
to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left
his van in the car park and walked home.  As he was wobbling along,
he was stopped by a policeman.  'What are you doing out here at four
o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.

Trevor's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence with numerous guests arriving.  During the evening, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led
to where the drinks were, in the kitchen.  He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. 'You know,' he confided to Trevor, 'I wasn't even invited
to this party.  I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my drive.'  He continued, 'My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved, so that we can
go out.'

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As in many homes on New Year's Day, Janet and Nigel, a happily married couple, faced the annual conflict of which was more important: the football match on television, or the lunch itself.

Hoping to keep the peace Nigel ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-lunch chat before retiring to the lounge to turn on the television.

Have you ever started to tell a joke only to forget the punchline halfway through? While the forgetfulness could be funny on its own, no one wants to suffer through the embarrassment of messing up a good joke, especially if it’s one of the funniest jokes of all time. Sometimes you need to get a quick laugh on demand and what better way to do it than with one of these short jokes? You can pull these out of your back pocket when you’re in need of something funny on the fly along with the funniest one-liners, some “what do you call?” jokes, and even something to get the small folks giggling with these short jokes for kids.

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A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause. Don’t forget to bookmark these other “what’s the difference between” jokes that will crack you up.

With the year (finally) nearing its end, we all start to think about the things it gave us. And while those things used to mainly be good and happy (or at least valuable lessons learned), the last couple of years… made us want to set them on fire and do some rites so they'd never come back. After a while, this whole living-through-the-20th-century-in-a-couple-of-years scenario does get boring and old, right? However, there's always that beautiful thing that we can do about the stuff we dislike/fear, and it's to laugh at it. That's why we've created this nifty little list dedicated to New Year's jokes - to laugh at our woes and greet the next year grinning.

While jokes about New Year's are usually quite cheerful and talk about festivities of saying goodbye to the old year and greeting the new, this time, the jokes are a bit more gritty. After all, we all have gained a bit more grit during these past few years, and the New Year's Eve jokes also reflect that. That said, there are also plenty of New Year's dad jokes in the list that are purely there to make us laugh sans the reflections on the passage of time. Oh, and there's also a topic that deserves to be mentioned on its own - New Year's resolution jokes because, let's admit, those are usually made in vain and turn into a funny story sometime after. So why not laugh at it a bit?

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