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Today I went to a barber’s shop for a shave. The
barber asked me to put a small wooden ball in my mouth so he could get
a closer shave around my cheeks.

I met an amazing man at a party on Saturday.
Wonderful listener, great looking... I gave him my number and winked at
him to call me when he gets home. It’s been 4 days, I’m really starting
to worry the poor guy is homeless.

He: "Here, take my backpack, darling, and hold it above your head.”
-
She: “But what about you, my love?! I don't want you to get wet!”
-
He: "Ah, don't worry, petal. I have an umbrella."

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Police officer approaches a woman on the shore, “I’m
sorry ma’am, but it’s forbidden to bathe here.”
-
The woman is surprised, “But why are you telling me now, you’ve just
watched me put on my bikini and tanning oil...?
-
The police officer shrugs, “Well that is not forbidden.”

I was walking past a clothes shop and saw a beautiful
dress in the shop window. I went in and asked the shop assistant, “Hi,
can I please try on the dress in the shop window?”

An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag. —Beverly Gross

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An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for...

My daughter received this e-mail from a prospective student prior to the start of the semester: “Dear Professor, I won’t be able to come to any of your classes or meet for any of the tests. Is this a problem?” —Carol Harper

My daughter received this e-mail from a prospective student prior to the start of the semester: “Dear Professor, I won’t be able to come to any of your classes or...

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