funny jokes about wednesday

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If you haven’t checked it out yet, Netflix’s new Addams Family series Wednesday is pretty damn good. It’s Tim Burton’s first foray into television. Pairing the king of gothic fantasy with this particular source material has been a long time coming, and it’s well worth the wait. 

While it may not be as campy as the two Barry Sonnenfeld Addams Family movies from the early 1990s, the series’ darker, more deadpan humor is as sharp as Wednesday’s guillotine. Here are some of our favorite lines from the first (and hopefully not last) season that we wanted to share before they ended up on a bunch of T-shirts at Hot Topic…

During her opening voiceover in the first episode, Wednesday Addams perfectly sets the tone for the whole series, while absolutely nailing the high school experience in general: “I’m not sure whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded schools run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago, but I admire the sadism.”

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While having to volunteer at the fudge shop at the local colonial themed tourist trap Pilgrim World, Wednesday gives a group of German tourists a horrible sales pitch/accurate history lesson in their native tongue: “Enjoy your ‘authentic’ pilgrim fudge made with cacao beans procured by the oppressed indigenous people of the Amazon. All proceeds go to uphold this pathetic whitewashing of American history. Also, fudge wasn’t invented for another 268 years. Any takers?”

Tyler:The espresso machine’s having a seizure, so all we have is drip. Wednesday:But drip is for people who hate themselves and know their lives have no real purpose or meaning.

I rang work and I said "I can't come in today, I have a wee cough"

The boss said "You have a wee cough?"

I said "Wow, thanks boss, see you next Wednesday!"

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The phone rang 'green green' and so I pink up the phone.
"Yellow? Blue is this? Can you speak louder? I can't hear you purplerly, I'll call you black later."

I think as marriages go, we’re doing absolutely awesome, I mean I get to sleep with my wife nearly every day!

Nearly on Monday,
nearly on Tuesday,
nearly on Wednesday,
nearly on Thursday,
nearly on Friday,
nearly on Saturday and
nearly on Sunday

My dad's Christian and my mom's jewish and they LOVE recycling...

But it's a little awkward for both me and my grandad on ash wednesday. Sadly he didn't survive the holocaust.

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