funny jokes about jobs

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The staff
meetings with our boss are always on Fridays at 4:30 in the afternoon.
One day, one of us asked her why this was. 
She replied, “After years in
management, I finally realized this is the only time of the week when
nobody here ever gives me any crap.”

Serious talk around the office of replacing me with a roaming violinist.- Just Bill ‏@WilliamAderWork eight hours and sleep eight hours and make sure that they are not the same hours.- T. Boone Pickens

"Mrs. Haycroft, this is Doctor Willits calling from the Medical Lab. Your doctor sent us your husband's samples yesterday. In the same shipment we received a similar sample from a different Mr. Haycroft. Unfortunately there was a mix up, and we're not sure which result belongs to your husband. I'm sorry to say that either way, the news is not good."

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His engineering friend said, "It was weird. I was exercising on the quad the other day and this gorgeous girl coasted by on her bike. She stopped, watched me for a few minutes, jumped off the bike, took all her clothes off, and told me I could have whatever I wanted.

Suddenly he sees lights flashing in his rear view mirror. He knows his car is fast, and thinks there's no way the cop can catch him if he stomps on it. So he guns it and the race is on.

Instead of letting the 40-hour workweek bring you down, we thought you might enjoy some jokes about work to lighten your mid-week mood. Whether you're dragging your feet on a Monday or woke up convinced it was Friday but quickly learned it was only Wednesday, you've come to the right place.

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These office jokes are so funny, they'll make your day better — or at least they'll take you away from what you're working on for a few minutes. Plus, when you get home and your kids ask what you did today, you can tell them you managed to sprinkle some humor into your workday. 

1.  A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss.
The boss asks him, "What do you think is your worst quality?"
The man says, “I’m probably too honest.”
The boss says, “That’s not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality.”
The man replies, “I don’t care about what you think!”

4.  An employee is getting to know her new co-workers when the topic of her last job comes up. One co-worker asks why she left that job.
"It was something my boss said," the woman replied.
"Why? What did he say?" the co-worker asked.
"You’re fired."

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