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Go For Doctor Who Is With You In The Medical Process Humor

It was my first night caring for an elderly patient. When he grew sleepy, I wheeled his chair as close to the bed as possible and, using the techniques I’d learned in school, grasped him in a bear hug to lift him onto the bed. But I couldn’t clear the top of the mattress. So I grabbed him again, summoned all my might, and hoisted him onto the bed. When the night shift nurse arrived, I recounted what had happened. “Funny,” she said, looking puzzled. “Usually I just ask him to get in bed, and he does.” —Erin Dockery

My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion. The doctor asked him a series of questions: “Do you know where you are?”

“I’m at Rex Hospital.”

“What city are you in?”

“Raleigh.”

“Do you know who I am?”

“Dr. Hamilton.”

My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, “I hope he doesn’t ask me any more questions.”

“Why?” she asked. “Because all of those answers were on his badge.”—Webb Smith 

My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion. The doctor asked him a series of questions: “Do you know where you are?” “I’m at Rex Hospital.”...

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As a brain wave technologist, I often ask postoperative patients to smile to make sure their facial nerves are intact. It always struck me as odd to be asking this question right after brain surgery, so a colleague suggested I ask patients to show me their teeth. Armed with this new phrase, I said to my next patient, “Mr. Smith, show me your teeth.” He shook his head. “The nurse has them.”—Emily Murphy

Before heading off to Mexico on vacation, my daughter asked her doctor for medicine to ward off any potential stomach troubles. Instead, the doctor prescribed bottled water and electrolytes, “which have simple sugars and salt.” My daughter liked that. “Oh,” she said, “like a margarita?” —Kaaryn Roberts

54.Doctor: I have some bad news. The test results are in. You have 24 hours to live. I have some even worse news. Patient: What is worse than that? Doctor: I have been trying to call you since yesterday. 

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If you thought these doctor jokes and doctor puns were funny, let us know and share them with your friends! We had a great time working on this list and even enjoyed many of the ones that didn’t make the cut.

Also, if you have any doctor jokes of your own that you think we should consider, don’t be shy! Send them over and if we think they’re funny too, we’ll add them to the list above.

You may need medical attention after reading these funny doctor jokes and puns. Indeed, you’ll probably end up in stitches, they’re that funny! And there’s no let up because in addition to the best doctor jokes, we’ve also included doctor doctor jokes, hospital jokes, surgery jokes and other medical humor too!

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