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Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
She replied “the ball is round daddy” (with a straight face) So I tell her “no, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!”
Amish woman(riding a horse and buggy) gets pulled over because reflector on her buggy is broken.. cop says, you might want to have your husband look at your reflector He notices a rope wrapped around the horse's balls… and ma'am, some folks might find that rope offensive . The lady later makes it home and tells her husband about the event. cop says the reflector is busted… and he didn't like the emergency brake neither
He orders a drink. After some time he taps the waiter and says "beep". After 5 minutes he does it again. He does it repeatedly until the waiter says "I swear to God, if you do that one more time I'm gonna chop your balls off!" Alien responds "I don't have any balls". The waiter says "Then how do you have sex?". The alien responds by tapping the waiter and saying "beep"
Dog years are bullshit. My dogs 10 and she still chases tennis balls when I throw them. When my grandma was 70 and I threw a tennis ball and told her to get it she smacked me in the head and walked away muttering.
The state trooper approaches the car, and asks the elderly lady if she knows why he pulled her over. The elderly lady said of course i do, you wanted to give me a personal invitation to the state troopers ball the state trooper replied uh ma'am. State troopers dont have balls. He stood there for a second, tipped his hat, and walked back to his car.
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